For you.....

Grandma--

I was trying to figure out how to honor you, one year after you left this world. I still haven't figured it out, but it will be good...you watch from above. You will be proud of me. I think I am going to do something for/with the local Hospice, since that is where your passion was. I miss you more than words can say, and honestly, some days are pretty bad. I have the days where I fight back tears most of the day...and Chloe will ask if I still miss you (which breaks my heart even more). Then I have my good days, when I know that you wouldn't be happy with me crying about you...and I put my chin up and a smile on my face, and enjoy the awesome gifts I have been given. But, honestly...it isn't always that easy. I just wish for one moment, I could talk to you one last time. It has been a hard year...just like you always used to tell us after Grandpa passed away, you grieved for both Grandpa AND Leo. I feel like it is sorta the same for me: When you died, we just had a new baby and a 2yr old. How can one grieve when you have to care for two babies that need you? I am working through it, though, and it does give me peace that when I am having my real bad days....almost always, a hummingbird will make an appearance. Just the other day, I was thinking about you (and dreading this day...the one year anniversary of your passing), and was having a "moment", and just then I looked out the window, and there it was--a hummingbird just circling around. The thing is--these hummingbirds I see, they NEVER stay and eat from the feeder! They always just fly around for a few seconds, and off they go.

It is going to be real hard to never go back into your house. Mom is going to sell the house soon....and I think we are all dreading it. Life just won't be the same--coming to town and not stopping/staying at your house. Just the memories, I guess.

I kept your favorite peach shirt...a year later, it still smells like you. Hopefully, you don't think I am crazy!! Those first few weeks, I had a lot of bad days, and I really just needed to have something that was you. Everyday, I see that shirt, and it always makes me smile! Thank you for all you kindness, unconditional love, and faith that you taught us all. The love you taught us, will live on forever. I will always miss you--until we meet again in heaven....

~Love you, Grams....from your "favorite"

"Grief that is out of control can destroy your happiness and health.Grief is about losing, but also can be about growth. Grief is part of healing. Working through grief effectively is not done alone. Grief is NOT a sign of weakness or lack of faith. The presence of your grief just means it was significant to you. After a major loss, take special care of yourself--be GOOD to yourself!"

(notes in Grandma's handwriting from a Grief/Loss support group she attended after the loss of her second husband, my Grandpa in 1980. I found these notes when I was cleaning out her bedroom. Today, the notes are on my fridge--for me to glance at each day to remind me of the strength she taught all of us to have.)

Grandma when she was about a year old, with her older brother, James

Grandma's high school graduation picture One of my most favorite pictures of me and my Grams...the running joke with the bonnet is: it could have been 90 degrees outside, and if there was a breeze, I had a bonnet on. Posing with Grams on my first birthday At my sister's wedding, three years ago In a goofy way, this too, is a favorite picture. It says..."No, I am not here to give you hugs, chat with you on the phone, or eat chocolate malts with you, but I am in heaven with Jesus, where I want to be. I miss you too, and I will always be in your heart-- so grieve, and miss me, but then for Heaven's sake, sweetie, move on!! UFF DA!! There will always be a little part of me in you...and we will ALWAYS have the memories."

So...that is what I try to do...each day.

Welcome to the world, Sweetheart!

Welcome to the world, sweetheart! This is a picture of our new niece, "JR". She was born on Thursday, August 6th at 12:05pm. She weighed 8lbs 12oz, and was 21 inches long. Both baby and Momma are doing awesome. Mom was a superwoman...and had an amazing birth story. We can't wait to meet "JR"!! Hopefully, we will be able to get there this weekend.

Our move is done, thank goodness. It went pretty smoothly, and we are glad to be fairly settled. DH is heading out for a few days this week on a business trip. I also have a "helper" this week too--our old neighbors 10yr old daughter. She is a dear, and is so wonderful keeping the kids entertained, while I work on unpacking the garage. She will literally do anything I ask ("this goes to the kids bathroom, this goes to the living room, etc"). It is nice to have someone to do whatever you ask without complaining....Ahem.

The weekend before our move (Aug 1st), we attended a family wedding a few hours away. It was nice to have a fun weekend before the big move. We did alot of swimming in the hotel pool, did a fair amount of dancing, and of course had a few drinks at the wedding dance too...Mmmm. It felt nice to let loose, and just have a fun time. It was nice to see all of our family from the coast too...Congrats Steve and Chris!! We are so happy for both of you!

Pictures of the wedding, and new house to follow soon...

A vase....

When my dear husband brought me flowers the other day, this is the best we could do for a vase...everything else is packed away somewhere in a pile in the garage. 7 days till the big move...

Two babies down, one to go!

Well, brace yourself everyone--I am actually going to write a blog. Last I left off, Bug was on some antibiotics for some kind of unknown sickness. Well, luckily, the antibiotics worked. Bubby's runny nose, was just two teeth coming in, so no problem there. Currently, we are all well (finding some wood to knock on..). We had our deck re-finished--which was in the agreement to sell our house. As of now, we are just waiting for the closing date of August 3rd. Most of the packing is done, so this week, I can actually relax a bit.

I became an Aunt for the second (out of three) time this summer. Two babies down, one to go! Can't wait for #3 to come...in approximately 2 weeks! Last week, Tuesday, I took the kids and drove about 4 hours to see my new niece, "R". I was so excited to see her! She was born via C-Section (on Tuesday) at 9:05am, 7lbs 1oz, and 19 inches long. She is a carbon copy of her big brother "KM". Take away the pink sleepers and it is KM...weird. I actually called "R" by her brother's name a couple of times. Anyway, we stayed in town one night, and headed back on Wednesday, after one last stop at the hospital on the way out of town. I didn't want to leave, because I wanted to love on "R" a little more, but knew we had to go. She is so beautiful, and I can't wait to see her again. Here she is:

My sister and proud Mama of "R"

Bug and her new cousin

Awwww, a Momma's love....

While I was visiting my sister in the hospital, my sister-in-law called to say she too was at the hospital with my mother-in-law. She had been watering her tomato plant, lost her footing and fell. She dislocated and broke 3 bones in her ankle. She was prepped for surgery, and by 9pm on Tuesday night, she was in recovery. We decided that we would visit her this past weekend, so we went and stayed at my brother-in-law's house. It was nice to visit Mom and we know she appreciated it, but we couldn't stay too long, with two crazy, loud kids. We visited with her on Saturday morning, then came back in the afternoon. After that we headed back to my brother-in-law's house for dinner, and a campfire. We all ate way too many smores, but had such a fun time catching up around the fire (till about midnight!). It was fun to see Bug and Bubby playing with their cousins too. I just wish we lived closer...

My niece

Daddy and Bug (with a goofy smile...)

Around the fire...

Me and my Bug...(with a genuine smile)

Me and my sleeping Bug (taken about 5 minutes after the previous picture)

Well, luckily, I have a pretty relaxing week ahead of me. FINALLY. I will work on getting some more pictures of the kids' birthday party, and the surprise 40th anniversary party we had for my in-laws on here....Have a good week!

Do you remember me??

(wondering if you, my three readers even bother to check this blog anymore--too busy to write much..)
Where I left off--Just like chicken noodle soup--a condensed version.

Had Bug's 3 year pictures taken-turned out AWESOME.
Realtor called--seller accepted our offer on the house
Flurry of rushing around to sign paperwork
Run to realty company to pay earnest money
Feed kids lunch in the car
Home to pack for a long weekend to visit in-laws
Playtime--5 minutes into playtime, cleaning up half a box of lucky charms off the floor.
Ugh, remember to lock cereal cabinet.
Make something that resembles dinner--feed everyone.
Finish packing.
Friday-Take kids to doctor for 1 & 3 year check-ups. Son got two shots, and two finger pricks.
Not happy.
Everything else is fine, except a future audiologist appointment for Bug. Possible slight hearing loss.
Back home to pack the car.
Wait for hubby to get home from work so we can leave.
Hit the road--stop 2 times for Bug to pee. First long trip without a pull-up.
Arrive at destination--dry undies for Bug. Victory.
Unpack and get settled.
Saturday, attend sister-in-law's baby shower while the men to "man-stuff".
Clean-up after the shower, load loot into sister's car.
More family time, then meet with two sister's (in-law) at the park and get our plan together for the next party on the agenda--a surprise 40th Anniversary party on Sunday for in-laws.
Lied alot to Father and Mother-in-law that weekend. O-well.
Went to church on Sunday, then lied about going to an outdoor church social, and instead went to the room at the church where the party was going to be, and decorated.
Went back to in-laws house to pack up our car.
Lied to get them to come with me in our van to the church.
Didn't work.
Got them to the church in two different cars, which worked out ok anyway.
Lied again as we walked in to the church...(am I going to go to hell??)
SURPRISE!!!
It worked, they were in shock.
Perfect.
Ate, enjoyed ourselves, watched a dvd I made for them, and chatted with all their friends. Perfect end to a busy weekend.
Left to head home around 5pm. Drove two cars home--our van, and the van we bought from in-laws. Had to stop 2 times for Bug to pee.
Dry undies when we got home.
Praise Jesus. FINALLY.
Unpack and go to bed.
Monday-10am appraisal is done on our house. Guy stays for 30 minutes. Took pictures. Unfortunately, I was told no pictures would be taken. 5 million toys on the floor in the living room.
O-well.
Tuesday (the 30th for those of you who are still with me...)
Had to cancel attending a party at a new friend's house
Inspection at the new house with two kids who didn't want to be there.
Good times.
I was there about 30 minutes, then left.
Headed to pick up Bubby's one year pictures.
Turned out great!
Wednesday-
Pack some boxes
Break up some fights
Spend 2 hours on the phone between our realtor, loan officer, and the lawn company
Kids act out because I was on the phone.
Time Out.
Everyone takes naps...even me.
I don't remember what else happened the rest of the week.
Saturday: HAPPY BIRTHDAY USA!
Loaded everyone in the car to go to the parade.
Bug is ecstatic, because they are throwing candy at her.
We got invited to a party, DH and Bug go...
I get stuck at home with sick child. Nasty fever, runny nose.
Assume it has to do with immunizations 7 days prior, but with runny nose??
Sunday: Heathens...again we didn't go to church. Hell, here I come!
Spent the majority of the day outside.
Bug crashed about 3pm.
At bedtime, she has 103 degree fever.
Giddyup...here we go.
Monday: 8am, deck guy shows up to clean/strip the deck
Kids watch for a good 20 minutes.
Ahhhh. Momentary peace.
Clean up half a box of rice chex. Damn, must remember to lock cereal cabinet.
Bubby's fever is gone, Bug's is raging. Now her face/ear/teeth hurt. ??
Tuesday: Take Bug to doctor. No ear infections, severely swollen glands. Mono? If not better on Thursday, come back.
Wednesday, Fever is gone. Happy child, still swollen glands, but happy child.
Went out to buy new bed set for kids/us, and new bathroom stuff for kids' bathroom at the new house
Naptime
Hauled out packed bins to garage. Told Hubby to move his childhood baseball card collection--those bins weighed about 50lbs a piece!
Me and Hubby had a nice quiet dinner...by ourselves.
Kids slept till 6:30pm....when I had to wake them up.
Dinner then playtime.
Bed at 9pm.
Daughter refused to sleep till 1am. Woke again at 2am, 3am, 4am, complaining of pain in her ear and face. Screaming all night.
Probably slept a total of 4-5 hours--her and me.
Thursday: took her to urgent care. NO ear infection, just swollen glands.
Whatever. Getting irritated.
Just want her to feel better.
Peeing all the time, filling her with o.j and water, tylenol for the face/ear pain.
Pool party at night at a friend's house.
Lost about a pound getting eaten by mosquitos.
Back home.
Mercifully, Bug slept through the night.
Friday. Thank God it's Friday.
Get up at 6:30am, shower.
Wake kids at 7:30am.
Feed kids breakfast in the car.
Liver function test for me at the doctor's office.
Bug has to wear a mask at the office--due to her unknown sickness.
Everyone thinks she is so cute. Gets two stickers for being cute.
Since we are out of the house, and organized by 8:30am, might as well run some errands.
Home.
Put Bubby down for a nap.
Bug paints at the kitchen table for an hour.
Starts to complain about her ear pain. Tylenol.
Doesn't do any good.
In so much pain, that she can't lay her head on my shoulder without screaming.
Back to the doctor.
No ear infection. WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!
Refuse to go into the weekend with out drugs.
Mono test--Negative.
Now, Finally, we are trying the antibiotics till Monday. If she improves, we continue with the drugs. If she doesn't get better, we go to the hospital for blood work.

Preview: Sunday: Deck guy is coming back to sand deck at 8am. Monday: deck guy coming back at 8am to paint the deck.
Tuesday: As long as everyone is well, me and the kids are going to visit my family and be at the hospital when my new niece is born.

Eventually, I plan on posting some picture from the kids' party...it is on my list, when I get to it.

((as I am finishing up this entry, Son is crying--sounds like the cold/virus/whatever his sister has, has successfully been transmitted to him...it will be a great weekend))

Going to bed now. :-)

Bug's Three year pictures

Bubby's One Year Pictures

I can't believe our baby is one already...time flies so fast....

(here are his first professional pictures taken at 6 days old...)