Wednesday, May 26, 2010

HE IS...

Those who know me well, have commented that my facebook updates have changed. The tone of them have changed. I admit, they have. When you are going through a life experience that changes you life, the tone of everything in your life can change. You tend to mature a bit. My actions with this situation are exactly popular with some people. I have love for ALL those involved, but that doesn't change the road I am going to take. My opinion is "until you have walked in my shoes, you don't get a vote". God chose the right timing for us. God has given us this opportunity, and we aren't going to miss out on it now. We have missed out on too much already.

In my past, there have been two other significant life experiences that I KNOW were only designed by God.

The first one was in 2003, when God saved my father two times through very serious injuries. My Dad had an AAA (abdominal aortic aneurysm), and was told he had a "less than 1% chance" of making it through surgery, and if he did make it, he wouldn't walk again, have kidney transplants, etc. Well, after 13 hours of surgery, the surgeon walked out and said..."He shouldn't be alive. I didn't save him. God was whispering in my ear the whole time. God saved him." We were in awe. You see, when I got the news that my Dad had "a heart attack", all I did for the four hour drive to the hospital, was bargain with God. I pleaded to HIM to save my Dad. He, after all, was my only Dad. No one can replace him. God, you have to save him, Please! So, when the surgeon said.."God saved him", all I could do was be thankful that I would get to see my Dad again, alive. Fast forward to current day: my Dad and I have had so many more years than we thought we would ever have. We have had deep conversations. He has gotten to meet my two children. He has been at birthday parties, and many celebrations. God knew I needed those years and conversations with my Dad. God blessed us.

In the fall of 2007, as we got our results from our last IVF, we were sad. The IVF didn't work. I wasn't pregnant. God had other plans. At the same time, not too far away, there was a young teenager who just found out she was pregnant. She knew she couldn't provide for her child, and choose the loving option of adoption. In December, we decided we would start the adoption process. By the end of February, we were approved. Now we just had to wait. By the end of April, we met a prospective birth mom, and halfway through our meeting, she exclaimed "I want you to be parents to my child!" Two months later, I helped coach "H" on the day our son was born. It was amazing. I feel blessed each day, that God has allowed me to be a Mom two different ways--through the birth of our daughter, and through the adoption of our son. Not many women can say that. God knew that IVF wasn't going to work. God knew that "H" was going to need a family for her child. God knew it was us. God knows.

This life experience I am going through now, is so raw, and due to that, I won't put details here. My point is through all of life's experiences, God is there. Good or Bad, HE is there. HE is the same God that walks with you through the valleys. HE is the same God that is there for the happy celebrations. We just have to TRUST HIM. HE Knows. HE Loves. HE IS.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A turning point in my life...

Have you ever dreamed or wished that a person would come into your life, but "knew" it would never happen? Or maybe it could happen, it would just be something short of a miracle? Well, my miracle happened. I have known of this person's existence for about three years. I contacted him through facebook, as a means of getting some resolution from my past. We agreed to be in contact, but to 'take it slow'. After a few months of emails, facebook messages, and one phone call, we knew we had to meet each other. We agreed to meet a few weekends ago, and it was wonderful. I never imagined it could go so well.

He has a wonderful wife and a sweet daughter. We had many very candid, bold conversations--but that is the only way for 'this' to work, we agreed. It was a weekend of healing for both of us, and I was sad to see the weekend end.

For now, my prayers are for strength for both of us, for peace, and for God to continue to show his love to us and our families. God is growing me each day through this. I am so grateful that God gave me this unbelievable gift. One of the last missing pieces of my puzzle has been found, and I feel more complete now, than I have ever felt in my life.

This person, that has chosen to be in my life, to get to know me, who cares for me...biologically, is my brother...but for now, we have alot of healing to do, and I am blessed to call him my friend.

"Trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Happy Easter!!!

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. HE HAS RISEN! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

Monday, March 8, 2010

More Florida Pics...

Once again, I found myself crazy busy the last few weeks. Again, we have had the black cloud of sicknesses at our house. Bug had tonsillitis, bronchitis, and a touch of pneumonia. Bubby only had a nasty cold. Four days after we were done with both of them being sick, Bubby started a fever. Turns out he had "Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease" (HFMD). Bug had this when she was 18 months old, so I knew what to look for. HFMD is VERY contagious before any symptoms appear. So, of course, after Bubby went through the fever phase, and was onto the blister phase, Bug started her fever. Bubby's fever was mild, Bug's was considered high (104.5 was the highest it got). Bug's fever lasted 24hrs almost exactly--but was pretty scary. I stayed up with her all night, cooling her with a washcloth, and giving her Tylenol and Motrin every 3 hours to keep the fever down. Not a fun time. The great news is, we are (hopefully) done with the sicknesses for awhile.

I am going to try to play "catch-up" with posting pictures, so here goes:
Bug feeding Bubby ice cream on the boardwalk at Johns Pass Pretending to sleep after running around outside of the condo Bubby playing at a local park (I love what the humidity did to his hair! Makes me really look forward to summer--no more dry hair!) Bug at the park At the beach... At the beach At the Florida Aquarium Jellyfish Havin' fun at the Aquarium I wish I could remember the name of this bird--it has the color of a flamingo, and the beak like a platypus. Weird. Next to the alligators. Bug showing me how alligators swim... Bubby chasing the seagulls. I would tell him to try to "get" the seagulls, so he would chase them. As soon as they flew away, he would drop in the sand and scream and cry. It was so funny... Took a drive over the "Sunshine Skyway". My dear husband, the engineer, wanted to see this engineering feat of a bridge. The original bridge was hit by a barge in 1980, and the SS is what they replaced it with. It was pretty awesome...I have to admit. A view of the "Skyway", before driving over itKids goofin' around.. Beautiful sunset... On the beach... One of my favorite pics--the last night on the beach. My babies... My all-time favorite picture that I have taken...Blue is my favorite color, and this sunset was amazing. Bug making sand angels on the last night in the condo

Monday, February 15, 2010

It's been a long time...

Well, life happens, and something had to give. This last month, it was the blog. I am going to really try to manage my time better, and blog more often, so here goes.

We went on a week-long vacation to Florida in mid-January. We stayed at the same condo we have stayed at the past three years for five days, went to Magic Kingdom for one day, then visited DH's grandparents for two days. We really didn't want to come home at all. While waiting for our departure, heading home, I got online and checked the weather. In Florida, it was 74 degrees, at home it was 7 degrees. Hmmmm, 74 degrees or 7 degrees....I just can't decide. That day, I woke up to wonderful, sunny 74 degree weather and went to bed shivering under four blankets--the thermometer said it was 2 degrees outside. Back to reality. Here are some of the pictures from our trip:
This picture was actually taken at the end of a real long day...we all look a little rough!
Taking a rest on the people mover. We rode this two times in a row--a nice break for everyone! Bug looked at this and said..."Aww, Momma, Cinderella's castle is so beautiful..." A great picture of Daddy and his favorite little girl... While Bubby took a two hour nap, Bug and I went 'adventuring' around, and found Pluto's house! Go ahead...try to pry me off this carousel!! Bubby LOVED the Dumbo ride. From beginning to end, there was a permanent grin on his face. Priceless. She can barely contain the excitement of going on the Dumbo ride!
Stay tuned to more vacation pictures...

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Dash---

I went to bible study this week, and one of my 'ladies' brought this poem to share. I loved it, and wanted to share it with you. Kinda makes you think...
The Dash--
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all,
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth,
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read
with your life's actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?